A Thankful Day.

So today is just another day, nothing special or "blog worthy" other than the fact that God has really been working on my heart about the little things... being faithful in the little things, being patient with the little things, and being thankful in the little things.

After a rough night with Kenna not going to sleep easily and waking up twice screaming her head off, she slept in (which meant I slept in!) until 10 am.

I'm thankful for that.

My husband went to class on just 2 hours of sleep because he places so much value on learning more about the word of God.

I'm thankful for him.

We were able to conveniently drive through Burger King for quick bite to eat without even having to get out of the car.

I'm thankful for that.

My diaper bag got locked in the nursery room on Sunday night, and was not only there when I went back to get it, but the lovely ladies of our church had tucked it safely away in an office drawer to protect my wallet inside.

I'm thankful for that.

I picked up a prescription for prenatal vitamins at the drugstore that was unexpectedly quite expensive, but the really nice pharmacist took a few extra minutes to redeem a coupon from my OB and a competing drug store's coupon for a free $25 gift card that we can use on diapers later.

I'm thankful for her time.

When I got groceries today and saw pouring rain, an employee brought them and put them in my car for me while I quickly got Kenna inside.

I'm thankful for his help.

I put away several bags of groceries, including cleaning supplies, diapers, and fresh fruit for Kenna because God has continually stretched our budget.

I'm thankful for His provision.

While Kenna and Matt nap in a quiet, peaceful home, I'm emailing a lovely friend that I don't get to talk to often enough.

I'm thankful for that.

I hate to think of all the days that I have struggled to find something to be thankful for, when the truth is that God's blessings envelop me daily. Truth is, this is not some revelation of just today, but something that God has had to break down my pride and selfishness to be able to realize just how perfectly He has provided for us, and how faithful He has continued to be... even sometimes in my own unfaithfulness.

"... being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Phillippians 1:6

"And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." -Luke 12:29-31

Fearfully and Wonderfully!

Last week we had a 12 week appointment where we unexpectedly got another glimpse of our little one through ultrasound. What an awesome thing for God to give man the ability to develop such a technology. As amazing as hearing that little heartbeat on the doppler is, nothing beats seeing your little one move around in "real time" and know that they are healthy, happy, and safe in his/her little bubble. What a blessing that I by no means take for granted.

The pictures were a little fuzzy since Baby is just now big enough to start showing up on a belly ultrasound versus an internal one. However, we did get to see little one wave at us very clearly! How incredibly amazing to see an 11 week old baby, still developing inside the womb and barely the size of a fig, wave so clearly. To make the same kind of motions that our almost-two-year old does... when I stop to think about the incredibleness of that, I just have to praise our amazing Creator. I mean, a fig is tiny little fruit.

It brings so much meaning to some very familiar verses, Psalm 139:13-16:

"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book before one came to be."

How unbelievable to know that the God of the universe, that created all the mysteries of how we work and who is the only one that can breathe life into us would care to know us at all. As much as I love Kenna and this second baby, both of whom are part of me and have lived inside of my body, knowing that my heavenly Father loves me infinitely more, and is in fact the very definition of perfect love, is pretty intensely incredible. And to know that he desires to know and be known by each one of his creation, as flawed and crazy as we are in our sin, makes that love that much more awesome.

Seeing such liveliness so early on the ultrasound, such a strong little heartbeat, makes me wonder how anyone can doubt that life begins at conception. I remember hearing an interview on the radio with a planned parenthood director who had left her job after watching abortion on an ultrasound. She had always been told that the fetus was not a life, couldn't feel anything, and that it didn't hurt them. She watched as the tiny person reacted in obvious pain to the procedure and she had a "change of heart." I read since then that she was one of 8 abortion industry workers that left their jobs around the same time period, and that one clinic in Montana closed due to "decline in business."

We are coming up on 13 weeks this Friday and headed out of the 1st trimester. Praise the Lord for a healthy baby!

Merry Christmas!

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." -Luke 2:10-14

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God... Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." -2nd Corinthians 5:17-21

Hallelujah, what a Saviour!
Merry Christmas from the Brogli family!

Missed Chances

Yesterday Matt stopped to help the car parked beside us in the Wal-mart parking lot jump their dead battery. It was cold and rainy, and Kenna not only needed a nap, but we had just come from her doctor’s appointment where she had gotten four shots. As I watched Matt help the guy, I sat and thought of the small handful of gospel tracts in my bag that I had told Matt I would give away weeks ago and hadn’t yet. As I thought to roll down the window and hand it to Matt to give the man, Kenna fussed and I instead turned around to soothe her, mentally rationalizing that as a mom, she was my first priority and ministry- a child who will grow up with access to the gospel not only in the words on the page of a Bible story, but hopefully lived out before her daily by her parents. Will she call me hypocrite when she becomes old enough to see me speak of the importance of one thing and not do it? The example I set before her is not a responsibility I take lightly.

And how many others have there been? The acquaintance who is heartbroken after an adulterous relationship ended when her lover went back to his wife. The mom at work who mourns the deep loss of a stillborn child. The co-workers when I was at Target in front of whom I cared more about what they thought of me than how Jesus could change their lives. And how many perfect opportunities that I let slip away, such as the lady on the plane next to me who told me she and her husband always fly separately so that if one of them were to die, their kids would still have one living parent to take care of them? It would have been so easy to have asked her where she thought she would go if she were to die, but I didn’t.

It is well with my soul. I have the eternal assurance of being rescued from my own sinfulness, of a future in heaven with the God who loves me unconditionally and knows and created the tiniest, most hidden parts of my heart. But is it well with the soul of the woman who will not smile back at me in passing in the store as I Christmas shop? Is it well with the person who has obviously not showered recently and is unpleasant to stand near? Is it well with the people who pass me every day? So many hurting people. We have the answer, but do we have the time?

What are we doing, Christians? Do we care about people? Do we care enough to speak to them personally, telling them what God has done for us, rather than just invite them to church so the pastor can “do his job?” Think about the words we will sing this Christmas:

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Until He appeared and the soul felt it’s worth

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

… sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let all within us praise His holy name!

Christ is the Lord!”

This Christmas season, and every day, take the chance to give others the most important gift we possibly could. Don't miss it. Tell someone. Not just "have a blessed day." Not just "I'm praying for you." Tell someone that we celebrate Christmas because Jesus the Savior came to live a perfect life and die that we could have salvation from the sinful nature that we all have that separates us from God. You don't have to have a seminary degree (I sure don't!) or be a super outgoing person or know how to have some theological debate. I want to care enough to speak up, enough to be a little uncomfortable talking to a stranger, enough to bring up a subject that is personal and oh so important.

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..." -Romans 1:16

"If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" -David Otis Fuller

Teaching and Learning

I quickly mentioned in one of our older posts that I've had the privilege of taking a class at SEBTS while Matt has been working on his MDiv. I wanted to write a little bit about what I've been learning. That first sentence alone shows the great change that's gone on in our hearts regarding school, especially for me. While I've always loved information and learning, I've never really been a person that enjoyed or thrived in the traditional schooling system, and that lead to lots of frustration (that eventually became bitterness) in trying to figure out what kind of degree to pursue, etc. I've been so thankful that God opened up this opportunity and provided a class that was just exactly what I needed, and so applicable for right where I am. I wanted to share some of the things I've been learning from some incredibly awesome women, because I feel like it is universally helpful, whether you're Baptist or not, or even whether you consider yourself a Christian or not. Really, these are just some highlights- a few notes on the topics that I have found really helpful for me personally. It's a little long, but I like having it in a place I can come back and read through it easily!

1. Forgiveness.

This has been huge for me- I'm learning that forgiveness is such a crucial part of life. It's what we're supposed to do as believers, but there are very few times that it's easy or simple, maybe even never. Especially as Christians, we tend to separate "Bible land" in our lives from "everyday land"... Bible land is where we live and who we are at church or in front of other Christians, and everyday land is who we are when we try to live our lives in our own strength, without God's help.

In Bible land, we know that we're supposed to forgive, that we should forgive, we might even say we have forgiven or want to, but then we don't live it out in everyday land. We bring it back up and dwell on it. It becomes a bitter root in our lives (Heb 12:15). We have to choose to do it, even when we don't want to, don't feel like it, feel like we can't, and haven't even heard an apology. We do it out of obedience to God- repeatedly, everyday if necessary, not because it's easy or because the person deserves it or because we're a doormat to be walked all over.

Real forgiveness is realizing how much you have been forgiven of in Christ, and forgiving others. When it's ourselves that we struggle to forgive, our forgiveness comes from Christ and can never be taken away from us. There's probably no greater way to be Christ-like than to forgive. The world says retribution, God says forgiveness. Forgive fully and specifically for the hurts you've felt- they will have names and faces. It's not easy, but God who loves justice, will make everything right someday (Heb21:12). God orchestrates forgiveness- He changes your heart!

2. What is the Purpose Of My Life?

How do you see who you are and why you are here in this life? I think everyone wants to feel like they have a purpose and a reason to be alive. The answer is in the heart- the real inner you, the control center for all you do- we live out of what is in our hearts (Prov 12:23). We should protect what goes into it, and what things we chose to think about often or dwell on (Phil 4:8).

Things that are out of your control can influence your heart (parents, upbringing, finances, job, marriage, your past, children, culture, sickness or loss), but they can't control you. That's because God is sovereign over your life, meaning he designed your life and circumstances to make you the best you you can be for his glory. That last part is SO important! Especially when hard times arise- we have to have the faith and trust that God is in control. If you are a Christian, everything you go through has meaning and purpose. God lays a claim on every part of you. This means there is no area of life off-limits to God's mercy, grace, love, power, and redemption!

You may think of Christianity as some long list of rules to be kept, or be asking yourself, if God is in control then why do bad things happen at all? That would be another post entirely (which Matt is great at explaining!) but in short- God is all about his glory, but he gives us choice. We get to chose whether or not to love him, whether or not to seek him, and whether or not we live for him or for ourselves. BUT, that also means we have the power to make wrong choices, choices that hurt us or that we regret.

When we chose to live our lives for him, and to want his will for our lives rather than trying to figure it out by ourselves, that's where real joy is found! (1 Cor. 10:31). We can stop living in the fear of what people think of us, and instead live in the forgiveness and love of a merciful God who knows even the deepest thoughts of our hearts and still loves us anyways! What's even better, is then he starts giving us everything we need to be able to obey him and give him the glory, even through those difficult things (2 Pet 1:3). He doesn't even ask us to do it all on our own- he helps us every step of the way!

3. How Do I Talk to God?

It's so easy for me to forget to talk to God. Sometimes when you pray you can feel like you are just talking to the ceiling- wondering if anyone is listening. Prayer is really just abiding in the Lord, talking to him every day throughout your day, just like you would call your mom or best friend every day. It helped me to look at prayer not as something about me, but as something about God. I would never have called my mom and talked about nothing but myself for 2 hours and then hung up the phone. It's the same way with prayer. Tell God what you're really thinking and feeling. Tell him what's really going on. But also thank him for the good things you have, and the things that have made you happy. Those are all blessings he's given you! When we're choosing to live for him and trying to do what he wants us to do, we can know that he hears and listens to us (Prov 15:29).

How you pray is usually the best indicator of how close you feel to God. When we feel far away, it's easy to feel stressed, frustrated, discontent, angry or bitter about pretty much anything in our lives, even the little stuff that probably shouldn't really be all that stressful. Praying throughout the day really helps me keep things in perspective because it reminds me that God is in control, and he gives me his peace even when it doesn't make sense for me to feel a peace- because God's peace doesn't depend on our circumstances.(Phil 4:6-7) Praying a bible verse is a great way to pray and know that you are praying God's will and that he hears you- without God's word, we are praying out of our own limited and weak knowledge (1 John 5:14-15 and Rom 8:26-27).

The most important thing about talking to God is to remember to listen- he answers! Take some time each day to be still and listen for what God is telling you. (Psalm 46:10). He's God and he loves you! The more you talk to him, the more you will want to talk to him!

4. I Am a Work In Progress.

I am someone who loves crafts and ALWAYS has an unfinished project (or two, or ten) and a work in progress in the process of being made. If you don't believe me, ask Matt who is constantly tripping over a half-crocheted scarf in the living room or moving the glue gun out of the way on the kitchen counter! We (believers) are in the process of being made more like Christ. I find such a comfort in knowing He's not finished with me yet. He has a plan for me, and for my life. That's so reassuring to me- I am so far away from perfect!

Think of yourself as a house... when you become a believer, God starts with the major renovation: floors, walls, a rebuilding that is sometimes unpleasant, but necessary. Then you think you’re “pretty good” and you realize He’s not done. Stuff comes up you thought you had gotten rid of. You thought you were a pretty nice little place, but He’s building a mansion, a palace where He can live!

But rest assured, He won't walk away and leave you unfinished... "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..." (Phil 1:6). Wherever God takes you, wherever you are, he is at work! He's up to something! He will complete it!

If anything you're reading here is confusing or you want to know what I mean when I say "believer" I would absolutely LOVE to talk to you more. I haven't always been a person that finds it easy to talk about God and how much he has done in my life, but that is changing for me. These crazy lives we have, beautiful and painful, are only part of the journey. Where does the journey end? The eternal destination of the soul is the most important part, where your soul goes when the body is done. If you seek truth, you will find it, and if you knock on God's door he will answer! (Matt.7:7). A huge thank you to the following professors/wives who have taught me so much this semester: Sharon McDill, Mindy Williams, and Charlotte Akin, among others!

Also, if you've made it this far (yay!) I want to invite you to leave your comments and thoughts here (just click 'comments' right below and it will prompt you). You've always been welcome to do that, but I'd especially love to hear it them!

Would you know my name, if I saw you in Heaven?

"The day you fear as the last is the birthday of eternity"

-Seneca, Roman philosopher

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Last night I went on a hospital visitation with Matt for a member of our church's sister. For some reason, I heard "on a ventilator and they're about to remove it" and didn't think at all about any comparisons to what we experienced with my Mom back in January. Oh, how wrong that was of me. I started feeling uneasy as we pulled into the parking deck which looked remarkably like the visitor deck when Mom was in the hospital in Orlando. As we went past the waiting room, it had that same smell, that same inexplicable heaviness of all hospital waiting rooms. We came into the ICU area, and it was just like the others I've been in... different, yet completely the same. Just before we walked into Julie's room, I had to stop and turn around as I burst into sobs. She looked just like Mom, but thinner, blonder, and I had the disadvantage of never having seen what she "really" looked like. I remembered us putting a picture of Mom and Dad on the wall in Mom's hospital room, ironically from a trip to Singapore from just a few months before she we knew anything was wrong at all, and the nurses saying how pretty she was. You'd never know what anyone looked like when you see them in this condition. A ventilator is truly a horrible thing.

I felt terrible when I walked into the actual room, that I had come to help comfort this family, some I have known for just a few weeks, and some I had never met at all, with tears streaming down my face. I felt selfish because I was crying for my own pain as well as theirs. I can only hope that they could tell how much I cared because I know that kind of pain, and because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, much less a friend, no matter how short of a time I have known them.

So of course, when it comes to the hard and inescapable fact of death, it is our human nature to wonder about Heaven, to wonder what it's like, as we try to take comfort in the fact that our beloved Mom and Sharon's beloved sister Julie, have gone there without us, and we can't yet follow them. It is also our human nature that asks why the God we praise as our ever-loving and all-powerful Heavenly Father could allow us such pain? The conclusion I have come to from over 8 months after the end of Mom's earthly life is that yes, God does allow death in the sense that He has the power to change anything and everything about this life and this physical realm we experience the moment He should choose to. The fact that He doesn't, when he could, shows the expanse of His love for us.

If that doesn't make any sense to you at all, stay with me... God doesn't allow death in the way that we think. Death, sickness, pain, suffering, cancer, heartache, loneliness, bruises, cuts, even simple things like cavities and blisters, are all a result of sin. They are the inevitable result of this sinful world we live in and the sinful nature of our human selves. When a newborn baby dies, we don't understand. We don't understand why the seemingly most innocent of all could die without even the chance to live. The answer is not because he deserved it. The answer is: because we all deserve it. God sent His son to die for us, instead of us, so that we could have eternal life in Heaven with Him, even though our sinful human natures say we should die. The fact that He allows us to choose whether or not we want Him to die for us personally is because of His love for us. If he forced us to choose Him, we'd be nothing but robots blindly serving the will of a dictator. God loves us enough to give us the choice, even knowing that some of us will chose wrongly and miss out on His salvation.

I think we all wonder too how people in Heaven can know what's going on with us, because how can they see the pain on earth and still be in Heaven since the Bible says there's no pain in Heaven? I think it's because when you get there, you immediately have God's perspective on the world... on life and death and the beginning and end... the big picture, if you will. You see the suffering and know it's not fun, but you see the outcome, the eventual way God makes it all right, the way all things come together for good for those who love God. (Romans 8:28). Basically, all the things we could never understand here on earth suddenly and instantly all will make sense.

I know there are people I have failed by not telling them about this salvation when I had the chance, when I had the experience of Mom's death as an immediate open door to talk to them. I really hope that if you've already accepted God's seems-too-good-to-be-true offer, you'll tell someone. Anyone. Surely there's someone you want to have come to Heaven with you. Don't wait until they are laying in a hospital bed on a ventilator, so deeply sedated that you have no idea what they hear and what they don't when you speak to them. And if you don't know about this salvation and want to know more, please leave a comment here so I can email you. Heaven is waiting for you too... my Mom is there, and my friend Julie that I never got the chance to meet is too.

ps- I'm reading a fantastic book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn and it is phenomenal. If you want a real, down to earth, realistic, and scripture-based description of what Heaven will be like (especially if you have a hard time picturing it as a real place and not a place in the clouds or an idea) definitely check it out.