A Great Decision (Baby Edwards Update)

***Another mini-update on 5/2- Leanne had another ultrasound, and she is doing great! The cysts at the base of the baby's brain (what they thought may be a marker for Trisomy-18) have shrunk almost by half their size! Praise the Lord! Also, the contractions she's having are not preterm labor, and the surgery she had early in pregnancy seems to be holding up well. Thank the Lord for a healthy baby and sister! Thank you for your prayers!***

We can't imagine what a difficult decision it was for Leanne and Sandy to weigh whether or not to have the next test because 1) it had such a large percentage of being a false positive for Trisomy-18 (over 20%), 2) it could kill the baby to run the test, 3) there was nothing they could change if they found out the baby did in fact have the disease. I talked to Sandy today and they have decided that they will not have the test run and instead will wait and trust that God will provide for their needs as they arrive either way. I'm so very thankful for all of your prayers and for your support. I thank God for a family with many Christians and also for such a large extended family of Christians, brothers in sisters in the faith that we have never met, yet intercede on our behalf. Thank you for your prayers!

PS-check out the countdown! Our baby has a visible face and hands and feet now... we've officially moved out of the tadpole/alien/fossil stage and actually look like a baby!

Update on Baby Edwards

The test went really well this morning and although the pockets of fluid were still there, they believe it is not Down Syndrome. Praise God! However, they believe it may be Trisomy-18 and would have to perform the test to determine if this is the case by the end of this week. Here's the catch: Trisomy-18 is a disease that kills nearly 95% of all babies within the first year. The test that would need to be administered before the baby is born to determine if this condition exists would have to be administered by this Friday. Also, this test has 1/100 chance of killing the baby and a 30% chance of a false positive. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for the Edwards as they decide whether or not to have the test run and for His continued hand in the development of our precious niece/nephew in Leanne's womb. Also, please pray that the entire family will praise God for the blessing of life, the joy of His mercy and grace, and the honor of being able to share Him with the world around us as His ambassadors no matter what the situation.

New Contact

One of my favorite authors to read and a man whom I greatly respect is Dr. Jay Budziszewski. I have put a link to a website he used to post on. It became too overwhelming with all of the students seeking his advice, so he just published a book with a collection of his answers and then another one to help with the problems before they occur. I have spoken with this unbelievable man and he is an excellent example of an intelligent follower of Christ serving in an academic environment. If you click on the link to the right (He began by going under the alias "Theophilus"), we refuse to be held responsible for the awesome knowledge you gain or the sudden black hole that surrounds time while you are there. Hours have passed while I soaked in his great knowledge. Enjoy!

Prayer for the Edwards

Tomorrow at 7 am, my sister, Leanne Edwards, will be having another ultrasound on her baby (you read that right, she's pregnant...there's something in the water around here). The ultrasound they are doing tomorrow is to determine whether or not the baby she is carrying has Down Syndrome. On the last ultrasound, the doctor noted what looked like a pool of fluid in the babies head and thought that might be an indication of Down Syndrome and has scheduled an emergency ultrasound for tomorrow morning. Whatever comes of the ultrasound tomorrow, we will praise God because of the awesome gift of life. We do ask each of you to pray with us for Baby Edward's ultrasound to go well, for the baby to be healthy and disease free, for a continued safe pregnancy for all the pregnant mothers out there (the list grows by the minute!), and for ALL glory to go to God through all of this. We love you guys!

Hungry, hungry baby!

I've decided that Baby B must be about the hungriest little thing to ever have grown and developed, because I am hungry all. the. time. Poor Matt, we'll eat some dinner somewhere and even if I say I feel too full, about 15 minutes or so later I always feel like I haven't eaten anything! I haven't been sick yet at all (thank the Lord!) but there are some things that just sound gross when I think about them. Spaghetti, however, sounds wonderful. Even right now, at 10 in the morning! I can also tell that the hormones are starting to run amock. I get tired so quickly and I had my first 'pregzilla' type day... I got really angry over something at work, and had to resist the urge to yell and throw things. Luckily, I was able to just get over it pretty quickly.
We went to our first doctor's appointment last Friday, and it was actually kind of disappointing. We met with a nurse practitioner, and basically sat in her office for an hour and 45 minutes and listened to all the things that can go wrong with the pregnancy and all the different things you can be screened to find out if you might be at risk for... fun stuff such as Down syndrome and cystic fibrosis. They also didn't do anything to confirm the pregnancy, which surprised me! We could be weirdos who like to go to doctors' offices and pretend we're pregnant for all they know. They did take a TON of blood from me, so I guess they'll do bloodwork that will confirm it, but we didn't leave the office feeling very encouraged. All that to say, I think I am going to switch doctors and go to the one my sister in law went to instead. Maybe we'll have an ultrasound to show soon!

From what I read, this week (8 weeks) Baby B is about the size of a kidney bean and swimming around in his or her little sac which is about the size of a grapefruit! No wonder my pants are already getting tighter (or maybe it's all that spaghetti!). He/she has little teeny fingers and little webby toes that will develop after the fingers. In the next week or two we should be able to hear the heartbeat!

POSITIVE!

It's funny how one word can change your whole life in a minute... positive! As in a line, a plus sign, a positive pregnancy test!!! (Or five. Just to be sure!)
(In case you need a translation, the plus sign on the top left means pregnant! AND the two lines on the bottom right means pregnant!) All positive!

1 Samuel 1:27-28a "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord."

I think we probably don't have to tell anyone reading this blog that we are about as excited as we could possibly be! We are so thankful that God worked out our insurance situation, and then blessed us with a baby right away. We give God all the glory and praise for creating this new little life and entrusting it to our temporary earthly care. It's so amazing how He provides for our needs and answers our prayers... we've been praying and wanting to have kids pretty much ever since we got married! Please be praying for us as this little one develops and grows, and as we prepare for the wild ride that is parenthood!

The most exciting part of course, after finding out ourselves, was getting to share the good news with our family! Matt came up with several really creative ways. Last Sunday was Matt's Dad's birthday, so we came up with a gift to share the surprise... a baby-decorated picture frame telling him that the photo to put in it would be arriving sometime in December (the little blocks say 'sweet baby B'):
Matt's sister Leanne is expecting their second baby in September, so this side of the family will have two new little ones very close in age! The family celebrating Dad's birthday and Baby B's announcement at Red Lobster:
This week too, my Dad came into town for a visit and we were able to go out to eat to tell my family the news! We gave our nephew Evan an invitation to a playdate with his new cousin-on-the-way:
Evan is super excited to finally have a Dean/Brogli cousin!

We also added a countdown to the top of the blog to enable you all to count down the days with us! Seven more months sounds like a long time, but I'm sure it will fly by! A few more weeks and the baby will look less like a tadpole and more like a baby. We'll try not to go overboard with all the little details, but please forgive us if this becomes baby-central for a little while. Then again, this is a blog about our family adventures, and this is a big one!

Thanks again for praying for us and sharing in the excitement! Yay babies!

"Expelled"

This Friday an interesting movie is coming to theaters and I am intrigued. It's called Expelled, and the premise is that it is a documentary that chronicles Ben Stein and his "heroic and, at times, shocking journey confronting the world’s top scientists, educators and philosophers, regarding the persecution of the many by an elite few."

The website goes on to state that:

"Ben realizes that he has been “Expelled,” and that educators and scientists are being ridiculed, denied tenure and even fired – for the “crime” of merely believing that there might be evidence of “design” in nature, and that perhaps life is not just the result of accidental, random chance."

As a Christian and one who takes a literal view of the Bible (including the account of the Creation of the world), I am excited to see this movie. I'll even say that I am hyped about it! I haven't seen it and know nothing outside of the trailer and the review that Christianity Today magazine gave...here! From what I read, I'll be in the theater friday night.

***WARNING*** This movie is PG and is a documentary about how Intelligent Design (ID) is being put down in academic settings, leads to an Intelligent Creator, and Ben Stein (while believing this) is Jewish (i.e. this is not a Christian film, but a film about Intelligent Design). Having said all that...I'll let you know what we think after we see it!

On to Happier Things:

I came across one of those 'tag you're it' surveys, so I thought it would be fun to tell just a little more of our exciting (I guess?) past lives, and forcing Matt to do it with me! Don't worry, we will tag others at the end!

4 jobs that I have had:
(Lindsey)
-bank teller
-lifeguard/swim instructor
-customer service representative (aka phone-answerer)
-HR receptionist for Wake Co. Public Schools
(Matt)
-Certified Pool Operator and Lifeguard for the YMCA
-Department Manager for The Home Depot
-Real Estate Agent
-Rock Climbing Instructor

4 movies I've watched more than 10 times:
(Lindsey)
-The Devil Wears Prada
-Joe Vs. the Volcano
-Steel Magnolias
-It's a Wonderful Life (Christmas tradition, baby!)
(Matt)
-To Catch a Thief
-Tommy Boy
-The Sting
-Joe vs The Volcano

4 places that I lived:
(Lindsey)
-Fort Hood, TX
-Woodbridge, VA
-Raleigh, NC
-Lille, France
(Matt)
-Raleigh, NC
-Wake Forest, NC
-Nicholasville, KY
-Tehran, Iran

4 TV shows I watch:
(Lindsey)
-America's Next Top Model (I can't pass up a re-run)
-What Not to Wear
-Friends
-Scrubs
(Matt)
-Scrubs
-Battlestar Gallactica (let the Nerd comments commence)
-Dirty Jobs
-Firefly (May it R.I.P)

4 Places I've visited:
(Lindsey)
-Paris, France
-Glasgow, Scotland
-Prague, Czech Republic
-Rome, Italy
(Matt)
-Bangkok, Thailand
-Instanbul, Turkey
-Paris, France
-Kunming, China

4 People that email me regularly:
(Lindsey)
-Matt (although we text more than email)
-my Dad
-our daily Bible verse thingy
-Beth Anne
(Matt)
-Lindsey
-Lindsey's Dad
-Matt Creech
-Sandy Edwards (my brother-in-law)

4 of my favorite foods:
(Lindsey)
-pineapple
-Doritos (just being honest. I can tear into a bag like there's a prize at the bottom!)
-pretty much any type of pasta
-mexican food
(Matt)
-Blackberry or Peach cobbler
-Chicken and dumplings
-Steak or Barbeque (let's face it----Meat rocks my socks off)
-Macaroni and cheese

4 places that I would like to visit:
(Lindsey)
-Greece
-Morocco
-Hawaii
-Southern France
(Matt)
-Greece
-Russia
-Southern France
-Switzerland

4 things that I am looking forward to in the coming year:
(Lindsey)
-finding a church home to serve in
-Matt and I growing as a family
-possibly moving and buying a new house
-hopefully going to the beach or Bele Chere festival this summer
(Matt)
-Serving God in the church of His choosing

-Lindsey and I growing as a family

-Buying a new home
-Losing a bit of weight- see favorite foods above :)

4 people that we tag:
-Jason and Alisa
-Beth Anne and Doug
-Mrs. Creech
-Brian and Mandy

Remember Me

Today I caught myself trying to remember if it was January 4th or 5th that Mom went to heaven. It scares me that something like that is happening already... and at the same time I think maybe it's a good thing. People love to say that eventually you'll forget all the hurt and just remember the good memories, and maybe that will be the case for me about 50 years from now. But right now, a long lifetime of three months later, I find myself caught in a weird limbo of remembering the strangest things. I don't remember specific conversations with my Mom very well. I can't remember her advice verbatum, although I know she had lots to tell. I keep expecting to see something and just know "Mom would have loved that," but rather, I feel indifferent, as though I can never know again exactly what she would have loved because I can't ask her. This is especially true about shopping, which I can't do with her anymore, and especially hard because I work at Target, where literally everywhere I turn there is something that makes me think of her.

I'm ashamed to admit the number of times I've had to hide out in the bathroom at work to cry. I see pajamas and think back to when I thought of buying her some to wear around the hospital, back when I foolishly assumed she'd get well enough to do that. Someone's cellphone rings with her ring and I look up, expecting to see her. The pink and brown flip flops in the shoe department that literally made me audibly say hi, Mom. The evil book entitled Why a Daughter Needs a Mother that I can't even look at, much less read, so I purposefully avoid the aisle and shelf it's on. The toy department where I spent seemingly endless shifts before Christmas with my cellphone hidden in my bra so that Matt or Dad could call me the second anything changed with her condition. The rack of Mother's Day cards. The list could go on.

It's hard to go this many weeks without talking to her; it's impossible to think of the many things left in my life she will miss out on. The things I can't talk to her about, tell her, confide in her, or ask her. We used to joke that we needed "momma and linds time" when we were feeling down and out... most girls believe there's nothing a mochaccino and some retail therapy can't fix, and trust me, we had our share... but for me, it wasn't the location or the drink that made the difference. It was Mom. She is the irreplacable element of everything else I will do from here on out.

They say time heals wounds, and that eventually all that will remain are the good memories. But they don't warn you about the bad ones that sneak up and ambush you. We reached a point where we limited the visitors to Mom's room, mostly because visitors outside of immediate family are frowned upon in the cancer intensive care unit, but also because of the physical suffering she went through. Those are the colors and thoughts and images that come back to me at the most random times, thanks to a scene in a movie or a bad dream when I fall asleep thinking about her. Her suffering was private; we couldn't relieve it or share it with her no matter how we wanted to, and I feel like now, suffering the grief of missing her has become private too. You feel the desperate urge to talk about her, to tell a story, to make a feeble attempt at telling someone else "what she was like" only to give up because of the inadequacy to even put her into words, much less relay them to someone whose life continues as normal.

Everyone has heard at least one "near-death" story, where someone "should have died" but didn't, because it "just wasn't their time." With Mom, it seemed like the complete opposite. From the day she first noticed any serious symptom to the day she passed away was little more than a month and a half. Just two mornings after the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do, her heart had begun an irregular rhythm that would eventually cause it to stop. It was as though, suddenly, the time was up. There was an appointed end, and it was her time... incomprehensible that life can simply turn off like a light switch.


I listen to Casting Crowns a lot when I'm down, and two songs very specifically made me think of her. I'm going to post them here so that I have a hopeful note to end on:

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean, vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am, I am Yours
-Who Am I


If all I had was one last breath
I'd spend it just to sing your praise
Just to say your name
If all I had was one last prayer
I'd pray it 'cause I know you're always listening
If I could live a thousand lives, bind the hands of time
I would spend every moment by your side, 'cause I
I know you're there, I know you see me
You're the air I breathe
You are the ground beneath me
I know you're there, I know you see me
I can find you anywhere
-I Know You're There

In the Meantime...

Ok, we haven't updated in awhile because right now so much is still up in the air! As most of you know by now, we still may have the opportunity for a youth pastor job in Beaumont, Texas. We are awaiting a call this week that will hopefully let us know whether or not we will be changing jobs, cities, houses, and day-to-day routines. We don't have any friends or family in Texas (so far!) but we're very excited at the prospect of what God has in store for us, no matter where it may be! We know He's going to provide for all of our needs in His timing!

Matthew 6:8 "... for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?"

Thanks a bunch to those of you that have been praying for our job search! In the meantime, we're looking forward to celebrating Matt's Dad's birthday this upcoming weekend, and a visit from my Dad starting the 15th!

Casting Crowns

On Sunday night, Matt finally cashed in his "big" birthday present... tickets to the concert of a Christian band called Casting Crowns! I know, you're reading the words "Christian band" and immediately you're thinking bad white rappers, cheesy vocalists in soccer mom jeans, or a guy and a guitarist who thinks he's the first guy to have ever played a guitar... but this is a great band and an absolutely awesome concert!

We first heard their music kind of randomly, around the time that we found out how critically ill Mom was, and when the realization hit us of how limited her time left was. Specifically, their song 'Praise you in this Storm' caught our attention because it was so incredibly descriptive of exactly how we were feeling in that time. It's really hard to find music these days, Christian or not, that has the magic combination of great lyrics and great musical talent (you know, they actually play their own instruments)... and when you change "great lyrics" to "really great, deep, descriptive, real, uplifting, scripturally accurate and reminding you of the life you're supposed to be leading lyrics"... well, there you have Casting Crowns.

If I sound like I'm raving, I am. It was really that good! They also have the rare distinction of being even better live than they are on their cds. At times it felt more like a church service than a concert, and I mean that in the good way. There was all the excitement of a concert and the heightened emotions of live music, but when you add to that the fact that the whole band sat in a row in the front of the stage and prayed for different "sections" of the audience (marriages and mommies that were represented, ministries that were represented, people suffering from addictions, and of course lost souls in our communities) that's pretty cool. They also described walking through the auditorium before the concert, praying over the chairs and the people that would be sitting in them. If you've ever been to the RBC center, that's pretty impressive.

I bawled the whole way through when they sang "Praise you in this Storm," and it was really incredible to see that many people so excited about God and what he is doing in their lives. I had almost forgotten what it's like for so many people around me to be raising their hands and worshipping so excitedly! Matt and I also got a glimpse into what youth ministry may be like... there were obviously many youth groups there together. Let's just say it's a very weird feeling to feel so encouraged and so overwhelmed at the same time! Overall, it was just a really great time of praise and for Matt and I to be together enjoying something fun, but also focusing our attention that much more on the Lord.

These are not pictures we took, and I don't think they were from our specific concert, but we wanted you to see a bit of what the band looks like, so we borrowed them from their website:
And yes, that is a girl with a fiddle in the band. Everybody get excited.

There's no new news on the job front right now... still just waiting prayerfully that the right place and church will happen in God's timing. Obviously we still have a few lessons in patience and faith left! But that's a good thing, and one that was a long time coming with us. We're looking forward to having good news to share soon!

"There is a God," but Major Bookstores are confused

Recently, Lindsey and I went to one of our favorite bookstores to get a few books. One book that I have particularly been looking forward to for some time is There Is a God: How the World's Most Notorious Atheist Changed His Mind. Anthony Flew is a world renowned British philosopher who is known predominantly for his outspoken nature concerning atheism and his mental prowess in the areas of analytical philosophy. He developed the "No True Scotsman" fallacy that so many atheists use to defeat the idea of the "true" Christian.

The book, which is co-authored and arguably ghost written, is a account of the arguments that brought Flew to become a Deist in 2004. This was a 20 year odyssey for him and not to be taken lightly. The fact that God still speaks to any of us, let alone those who consistently belittle Him publically, is an amazing testament to His never-ending love to those He created. Flew still vehemently denies an association with Christianity and this is important to note. Christians altogether have shouted victory because a prominent atheist has become a Deist (not a theist-Flew makes this distinction in his book). Atheists have cried foul because they believe that one their mighty men has not fallen but a "once great mind" is aging and is no longer sharp enough to be trusted. Realistically, Goliath hasn't fallen because he wasn't a giant to begin with. We're Christians, and our Daddy can whip all of their daddys. I am reading his book and celebrating that he has come across many of the same arguments that Thomas Aquinas had expounded upon in his Five Ways (to know God) and that science and the complexities of creation have brought about revelation (hooray! see Romans 1 & 2). The book essentially makes three main points: the universe is run by laws which haven't yet been understood by Flew, there must have been a first cause, and Flew deduces that this first cause was God, and evolution is really hard to understand. Let's take note of the fact that God is revealed through His creation to even those who have hardened themselves against it. Let's also take note that Anthony Flew is still lost and still does not having saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. His belief stops in the theological shallows of a vast ocean of universal truth.

So where does this major, name brand, national bookstore that I mentioned before come into play? When I asked for the book and could not find it, the very friendly woman who helped me looked it up in the computer and discovered that I had been looking in the wrong place (the Philosophy section). She said "follow me" and I did...all the way to the Christian Inspiration section. Did you see what happened there? I asked for a book by a Deist who has asked to not be considered a Christian and found that it has been placed where many Christians and non-Christians alike go to find inspiration and hope. They are there searching for a truth and hope that Christianity claims to offer and they are met by a man who was once dubbed the Big Bad Wolf of atheism with has been (unknowingly) masked in sheep's clothing. Is this book bad for people to read? No. Should Christians read this book? Sure. Can this book be harmful? Absolutely. My problem is not with Anthony Flew, as he is honestly searching and never asked for his book to be put in this section. My problem is with major book retailers who collectively lump religious works in with Christianity simply based upon the notion that they believe in God. Eating at Mcdonalds doesn't make you a cheeseburger anymore than being a mechanic makes you a car. Take it a step further and you realize that God spoke through James and said it better (He always does): "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." James 2:19

(Searching for his point...hah! Got it!) Flew believes in a First Cause and I wholeheartedly applaud the monumental steps he took to get from atheism to Deism. Every believer had to go through certain stages of belief in order to acknowledge Christ and we can pray that in Flew's case we will see him come to know Jesus as that First Cause he has now come to know. The book is intellectually challenging and can be used to strengthen our own beliefs in God, but it's not a Christian book, and lumping it in with the other Christian books is no different than we as Christians collectively grouping together (denominations aside) with those who merely acknowledge God and saying, "well, these people all believe something." If we believe what we say we believe and our writings are being put into a bookstore for others to learn about us and the God we say we serve...then what does it say about us that Anthony Flew's work sits a few spots away from other great intellectuals such as C.S. Lewis, John Piper, Charles Stanley, Thomas Aquinas, Ravi Zacharias, and J. Budziszewski? So I pose the question: Does the major retailer not know how to read a book before they categorize it or has the writings in that section become so full of "scratch and sniff" material (as Dr. Emir Caner once so delicately put it) that you can't tell the difference?